Have you ever had a friend who’s pathologically shy?

I mean, someone who plays shyness as an extreme sport. Afraid of her own shadow type of shy.

I have a friend at school, Rachel, who’s so shy she makes a wombat look outgoing. We’ve been great mates since the first day of year seven, when I found her stuck in a toilet cubicle. Poor thing was recovering from a practically burst bladder. She’d drunk an entire litre of Sprite at recess, then sat through double maths too paralysed by shyness to ask the teacher to be excused. Rach was a total wreck – and it was a close call for her undies too!

After rescuing Rachel from the loos, I cottoned on to her shyness pretty fast. It hit me when I realized I’d been talking non-stop for forty minutes, and I’d hardly heard her say one word. It took me three days to hear enough of her voice to discover she had an English accent. In fact, she’d only just moved to Australia – what a fatal combination. Totally shy AND she knew nobody.

I could tell she was a cool chick from her mood ring and the Danni Minogue sticker on her folder (gimme a break, it WAS year seven) so I persevered for those first few days. I introduced Rachel to my friends, including my bestie Emma, and tried to make her feel at home.

Two years down the track, I’m glad I made the effort – once you get past Rachel’s apparently mute, blushing exterior, she’s a great girl. We’ve been through heaps together, and our group just wouldn’t be the same without Rach.

Around her close friends (eg moi) Rachel’s now as chatty as the next person – cracking dirty jokes and analyzing last night’s episode of Neighbours with typical pommy enthusiasm. But while she’s changed in many ways – she’s not so keen on Danni Minogue for a start! – one thing has remained the same. Rachel is still shy. Putting her in a crowd of strangers is like emptying a bucket of icy water over her in the middle of winter. She stands shaking, frozen, doing a fairly good impersonation of a statue.

So why am I telling you about Rachel? Well, there’s been an interesting development involving Rachel lately. She’s been struck down with a serious, overwhelming, all-consuming condition.

Rachel has a crush on a guy.

And not just any guy.

She has a crush on Alex Greene.

I imagine everyone’s encountered their own version of Alex Greene. A guy who’s famous for his brains, charm, athletic ability…and in no small part, his devastating good looks. Alex goes to the boys school across the road from ours – in fact it’s our brother school. But let me assure you – there’s nothing brotherly about how most girls feel about Alex! Not only is he the pin up boy for our year, but for most of the school. Not bad going for a Year Ten guy who’s probably only just started shaving.

In summary – Alex Greene is up there on a pedestal. Waaaay up.

I’ve been lucky enough to meet him once or twice at parties and school plays…and after I’d picked my jaw up off the ground and spoke to him, I found out he’s not even an arrogant pig (as you’d expect!).

I mean, how can you beat that? Gorgeous and nice to boot. He’s like a genetic freak of nature!

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